


Give me touch

by Conscious_ramblings



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Body Piercing, Camboy Louis, Exhibitionism, Forced Orgasm, Light BDSM, Louis in Lingerie, M/M, Sex Toys, Teasing, Voyeurism, some arguing, wanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-04-28 11:27:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5089004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Conscious_ramblings/pseuds/Conscious_ramblings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick Is slightly obsessed with watching a pretty northern twink wank on camera for hundreds of men. </p><p>Harry is slightly obsessed with setting Nick up with his friend Louis.</p><p>Louis might also have a slight obsession with one of the men that watches him wank, but he'd never admit it if you asked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The camera's on you, ain't that enough?

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Alice for being the devil on my shoulder a couple of days ago and saying "write it" when I asked why there wasn't more camboy Louis based Tomlinshaw. First time writing tomlinshaw so be kind!
> 
> Thank you to [Marissa](http://onedcupoftea.tumblr.com/) for being a great Beta (my usual beta isn't a tomlinshaw fan) and to Laura for prompting bits on tumblr yesterday that made me think this through from Louis' POV as well. 
> 
> Oh and thank you to my darling Clare for the username for Louis, bwahaha!
> 
> This is the shortest chapter I have ever written, but it will have more chapters that will likely be longer, soon. 
> 
>  
> 
> Title is from Touch by Daughter. Chapter titles come from various FKA Twigs songs.

It had been three days since Nick had given into temptation and logged into his account on the cam site he’d subscribed to. Three days, and his fingers were practically itching to open his laptop and start a private browsing session. Three days, and he was sat on his sofa with a beer considering putting the laptop in the freezer like Joey did with sad books in Friends. It was the same thing, he reasoned with himself. His reasoning skills were slightly defective right now, even he could admit that.

Nick was an internationally known DJ on the flagship show of the BBCs main music station. He did not need to watch pretty boys wank on the internet to get off. He just really liked watching pretty boys wank on the internet to get off. Actually pretty boys was a lie. There was just one boy. One he had found three months previously when he had come home particularly frustrated from a night with friends where every fucker was coupled up and he was doing his best impression of Bridget Jones. The boy had been so pretty, so small and delicate and sharp. He had edges Nick wanted to soften with kisses, creases between his eyes that Nick wanted to smooth out with his fingers and a cock that, well a cock Nick wanted to choke on for days.

Since that night the pretty lad who went by _DoncASSter_twink_ had featured in the worst and darkest of Nick’s fantasies. In his dreams the kid had been tied up at Nick’s mercy, had been spanked till his arse glowed, had been rimmed for literally enough hours to start being counted in days, and had been cuddled so aggressively after all of this that Nick worried he was turning into a (slightly creepy internet-based) sap in his old age.

Nick really couldn’t be blamed for his obsession, the boy was so pretty and so spiky and had an arse that Nick would swear on a bible could cure world wars. What was Nick supposed to do, honestly? Ignore the fact he now knew this angel existed? Ignore the way his cock twitched every time _DoncASSter_twink_ was rude and sassy and oh so fucking adorable with it when someone was aggressive in the cam chat? Nick was only one man, only one needy horny man. And if he at times had instigated said aggressiveness under a fake name to get to watch the pretty boy snipe back, then well no one was ever going to know.

So now the fact he was sitting at home on a Friday night trying to ignore his laptop was entirely not his fault. There had been plans for tonight that didn’t involve watching the pretty kid wank, or trying to stop himself watching the kid wank. He had even made the plans. The plans had changed when an email notification had told him _DoncASSter_twink_ had scheduled a show for eight pm. Nick had initially spent all afternoon telling himself the plans wouldn’t change. Then at four he had cancelled on Aimee and Harry telling himself it had been a long week and he would just have a bath and a beer and definitely not watch Donny (as Nick had christened him). Now he was sitting staring at his laptop itching to log in with a rock hard cock in his joggers and one tiny thread of self control remaining.

That final (gossamer thin) thread went out of the window when a reminder email chimed on his phone to tell him Donny would be starting his show in five minutes. Nick hated how he could only get off watching the kid wank these days, hated that he felt desire so strongly for a kid, who wanked for all and sundry on the internet, that he could barely even appreciate other men anymore. Hell, he had even started to think he saw Donny in clubs when he was out. That had been the final straw that had persuaded him he needed to break his addiction. He had been in a club in Dalston and had turned from the bar to see Harry talking to a kid who looked so similar to Donny. By the time Nick had pushed through the crowds Harry was alone again, and when Nick had pushed on who Harry had been talking to, his friend had been highly evasive, winking and sipping his drink rather than answering. By the end of the night, with no more sightings, Nick had decided it must have been tequila goggles, and had vowed to stop watching Donny and maybe even try to get out and meet a real boy.

He just needed one more fix to get him through till tomorrow night when Harry was having a housewarming party in the flat he had just moved into with one of Zayn’s friends, Niall. Apparently there was someone Harry wanted to introduce him to, some other friend of Zayn’s. Harry had decided that as Nick was northern, and his friend Louis was too, that they should get on like a house on fire. Nick was dubious, Harry had tried to set Nick up with one of his mates once and it had been the worst date of Nick’s life. He wasn’t sure Harry really understood matchmaking.

Nick took one last pull of beer before he succumbed to temptation and opened his laptop. Three minutes later and he was logged in, watching the holding screen countdown to the start of the show. He couldn’t wait, palming his aching cock through the soft material of his trackies, pushing down on it to try and gain even a modicum of relief. It was to no avail. He knew that he wouldn’t get any peace, any calmness, until he had watched the boy and spilled in his own hand wishing it was the boy’s mouth. He shook his head at himself, wishing he were a stronger man.

The screen changed from a countdown to the familiar backdrop of a messy unmade bed behind an empty computer chair. Nick felt a fondness in his chest at how the boy never cleaned up, not seeming to care one bit. He was fully aware that feeling fond over a kid who he watched wank on the internet was not exactly normal, but it was the truth. Of course, Nick knew from experience that as soon as the stunning boy walked into shot all eyes would be magnetically drawn to him. He could be wanking on camera from a rubbish tip and Nick didn’t think a single person would notice the mess. There was just something so charismatic about the boy, you couldn’t take your eyes off him.

“Y’alright loves?” The raspy voice made the corners of Nick’s mouth turn up in a smile he couldn’t have controlled if he wanted to. The boy was still off camera, adjusting focus and lighting as he talked to the viewers about how he had a special treat for them today. Nick’s cock started leaking precome at the thought, a slightly darker patch of dampness growing on the light grey of his trackies.

He hissed in arousal when the boy finally came into view, pushing down harder on his cock as his head fell back slightly. Fuck, if this kid wasn’t the prettiest thing Nick had seen then he would eat one of Harry’s ridiculous hats. His hair was soft and swept across his forehead, blue eyes shining out of the tanned face that seemed to be comprised almost entirely of sharp cheekbones and pink lips.

 _You’re so fucking pretty_ Nick typed the words and hit enter before he even fully thought about it, just a stream of consciousness of his arousal.

“Why thank you GrimHipster, always good to see you on here petal.” The smirk that accompanied Donny reading out Nick’s username would fuel wanking fantasies for the next three months at least. Nick was utterly screwed.

“Ok, so I promised a treat for you all. I’ve just got back from the pub, where I was wearing a little something special. I thought you might all like to see? Tip me boys, make it worth my while.”

Nick quickly scanned his balance on the side of the screen. He tried not to spend too much money on this kid, appeasing his conscience with the fact that he looked and rarely actually ‘touched’ as it were, but this was one of the occasions that warranted it. Tipping a tenner into Donny’s account he waited, hoping there were enough other sad bastards like himself watching for it to be worth the while for Donny to show them what he had on. Nick knew from previous occasions that the pretty kid had quite a spectacular collection of lacy underwear. His mouth was salivating at the mere thought.

“Mmmm, thanks fellas, that’s just perfect.” Donny’s eyes darkened as he started to slip the loose grey shorts he wore down his hips. A tiny sliver of soft cream lace came into view. The groan Nick gave was not dignified but it was justified.

The shorts fell further south, giving Nick a perfect view of Donny’s hard cock trapped beneath the flimsiest layer of lace. Nick desperately needed to know if that lace would tear like paper when he got it between his teeth, needed to know if Donny would then let him mark his pretty tanned skin with those same teeth.

There was a patch of damp on the front of the panties, indicating that Donny was almost as turned on by this as Nick was. He told himself that was why he liked this kid so much; the fact the kid got as turned on by what he was doing as his watchers did, that he seemed to actually enjoy wanking on camera for hundreds of strangers. Nick loved the thought of Donny being an exhibitionist, of him sitting on his bed with Nick tied to a chair in his bedroom, making Nick watch. In some of the fantasies Donny continued to cam, to have strangers watch him while Nick had to sit by and just listen to the comments Donny read aloud. It was one of the fantasies that got him off quickest; listening to Donny rasp out the filthiest things men said to him while Nick couldn’t even touch himself. He knew it would never happen, but watching the kid trace the line of his cock on the screen he retracted every birthday wish he had ever made, hoping he could claim them back to press into making this real instead.

“D’you approve, lads?” Donny’s voice was broken and breathy on screen, his arousal obvious as he pressed the lace down onto his cock with one hand.

 _I’ve never approved of anything more_ Nick typed the words so quickly he was almost embarrassed of himself. He knew that if he ever showed this level of keenness to someone in a bar or club he would ask his friends to put him out of his misery, but he just couldn’t seem to care with this lad.

“Oh you’re all so sweet. They suit me then? Want to see me take them off? Or keep ‘em on?”

Nick responded with just one word, all caps, _ON_. The kid on the screen blushed and giggled as the responses clearly flew in. Nick knew he was nothing special, knew he was just one of a list of usernames on a screen, but he liked to pretend Donny noticed him, looked out for his name. His fantasy was fueled by the tiny moments when Donny acknowledged him - read out his messages or username. He thought back to the psych classes he had taken at school once, some fella with dogs and bells and salivating. Nick was on an irregular schedule of reinforcement, never knowing when the next drop of recognition would come. It was the hardest schedule to break the habit of he remembered, kept him around to constantly seek more.

“Looks like they are staying on. You dirty bastards, wanting to see me make a mess in my panties eh? Your wish is my command.” Donny’s voice was wrecked already. How quickly he sounded affected, how raspy his tone got, it all made Nick crave to know what he would sound like after he had sucked Nick’s cock, after he had coated his voice in Nick’s come. Maybe he could add that to the fantasy of watching Donny cam. Maybe Donny could suck his cock on camera, none of his viewers knowing that the cock they watched him choke on belonged to the man who woke up the country every morning on the Breakfast Show.

The scene in front of him changed as the boy sat in the chair in front of the screen, legs spread wide propped on his desk. His skin was luminous and tanned, littered with tattoos that Nick wanted to trace with his tongue. The man’s hand was teasing himself, playing over the soft cream lace, pushing down so Nick could see the angry red colour of the head. The damp patch was growing, Nick wanted to taste the precome leaking from Donny’s cock, wanted to catalogue the flavour of the man’s arousal. Almost like the other man could read Nick’s mind he raised one finger to his mouth, tasting himself.

“Bet you all wish you could taste me, eh? Tastes so good. Want my come in your mouth?” Nick nodded vigorously even though he knew the other man couldn’t see.

 _Want to taste more than just your come_ he typed, hoping his message was noticed this time.

“Oh yeah Grim? What else do you want a taste of?” Donny laughed breathily, such a pretty laugh.

 _Your skin, your sweat, your mouth, your arse_ he typed in response, feeling his heartbeat quicken and his cock jerk in response to the other man’s recognition.

“Mmmm yeah, want to eat me out baby? Want to get all messy for me?” Nick groaned loudly, ashamed of just how much he wanted that. Imagining himself buried in that beautiful arse, hopefully still covered in lace, was enough to almost make him come on the spot.

The other man was getting into it now, whining little breathy moans as he touched himself. Those noises were part of the reason he loved Donny so much, the way this sharp sassy kid went soft and needy and pliant under his own hand. He had moved on from touching himself over the lace, had pushed the panties down to hook under his balls and was palming himself in earnest, stopping every now and then to tease himself by running his fingers lightly over the head of his cock. By now Nick was one hundred percent certain that if he was ever lucky enough to meet this kid he would be able to get him off in minutes, as he had cataloged everything that Donny seemed to like.

The boy was talking to someone else now, asking them if they liked his cock, if they wanted to ride it. While Nick really did want to ride it he was distracted by a sharp pang of jealousy that coloured his vision for a second. He had no claim on the boy. There were likely people who had been watching him far longer, that tipped him far more, that he looked for more frequently when he played with himself online. Nick wanted him though, wanted him so much it hurt.

The breathy sounds were coming quick and fast now, Nick matched the rhythm the other man was setting and let his own moans and whimpers mingle with those coming from the computer.

“Taste yourself for me, love.” Nick knew objectively that Donny must be responding to another commenter, but he complied anyway, swiping a finger through the precome that had pooled on his stomach. He raised the finger to his mouth, tongue darting out to taste himself before he sucked his finger deep.

 _Tastes good, but wish I was tasting you_ _instead_ Nick knew he was a bit obsessive about tasting Donny, but fuck it, in for a penny.

“Wish it was me tasting you, babe. Would love to suck your cock.” Okay, so Donny probably wasn’t talking to Nick, but it brought him to the edge anyway. He squeezed harder as he stroked himself, trying to ride it out as long as possible, but the litany of beautiful noises the boy was making tipped him over, spilling into his hand. Streaks covered his bare torso as he continued to stroke himself through his release, wishing he knew the boy’s name so he could moan it as he came.

Nick’s head cleared slightly after he came, and normally at this point he would be logging off and shamefully washing his come from his body, vowing never to log on again. This time he stared lustfully at the boy who seemed seconds away from his own release and allowed himself the luxury of continuing to watch.

“Mmmm I’m gonna come soon, fellas. Hope you’ve all enjoyed the show so far.” The kid looked wrecked from just his own hand, Nick felt his cock twitch feebly at the thought of what he might look like under Nick’s ministrations.

With a final jerk of his wrist the boys head fell back, his pretty mouth opening in the most delightful groan. Nick salivated as he watched ropes of come spurt from the man’s thick cock. The flush of his skin was delicious, a thin sheen of sweat covering him that Nick wanted to lick from the deep dip of his collar bones. Really it wasn’t right to be this affected by a person he had never met, but Nick had been watching the man wank and sometimes even finger himself for a few months now, and he had fallen a little in love.

He logged off as the kid was dipping his fingers into the come on his stomach, knowing that if he watched him swallow that then he would need to come again, which he wasn’t sure his conscience could cope with.

As he shut his laptop he turned his attention to his phone, where a few texts from Harry told him that if he didn’t come to the party tomorrow Harry was going to murder him. The final one he saw before falling into a post-orgasmic nap read **Wear something pretty, got a feeling you’re gonna really like Louis**.

Nick just rolled his eyes and curled into a ball on the sofa, come still drying on his stomach.


	2. Do you have a lighter? Am I dancing sexy yet?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so... thank you to Marissa once again for being the fastest beta known to man. All mistakes that remain, and odd syntax and things, those are all mine.
> 
> Apologies for the wait, it's super hard to write tomlinshaw when Larry are out there releasing super larry albums and hugging at shows and stuff (which I got to see in person, man it's fucked my tomlinshaw equilibrium ;))

It was late by the time Nick arrived at Harry’s new place. Not even fashionably late, more “I really don’t want to come and deal with you matchmaking all night” late. The party had been in full swing for a few hours now, hopefully Nick would be able to slip in undetected and avoid the worst of Harry’s efforts.

“Nicholas Grimshaw, get your arse in here this second!” Well there went that idea. Harry was calling out from across the crowded living room of his tiny new flat. Nick tried to carry on down the hall to the kitchen, but a hand on his shoulder soon stopped him.

“Where’re you off to Grimmy?” Harry was clearly drunk, the slight glaze over his eyes giving him away.

“Err, to dump this in the fridge?” Nick held up a six pack of Red Stripe, watching as Harry turned his nose up at it. For someone who made their meagre living writing songs for other people, Harry could be a right snob at times. They had met through some industry party a few years back, Harry had just moved to London and had been doing some co-writing with Zayn Malik. They’d hit it off straight away and now Harry was some sort of pseudo-celeb by dint of being on the breakfast show a few times and hanging out with Nick a lot. Harry would be the perfect friend if it wasn’t for his obsession with Nick’s love life.

Nick could have understood it, maybe, if Harry were in a relationship himself. Lot’s of Nick’s smug-married friends were overly invested in his love life, setting him up with people at dinner parties and in the pub, but Harry didn’t have that excuse. Harry was so wedded to his song writing that he barely seemed to care about his own love life, but yet he continued to insist that Nick shouldn’t be alone.

"Come meet Louis," Harry was tugging at his arm impatiently, quickly replacing the red stripe in Nick's hand with a bottle of some craft brew, "you need to make a good impression."

"I happen to like my beer Haz. And my single life for that matter." Harry just rolled his eyes and continued tugging Nick in the direction of the living room.

Harry squeezed them through a mess of people, stopping every so often to hug someone or thank them for coming. Finally they arrived at a small close knit group of boys, one of whom Nick saw was Zayn. He was just about to greet the man, who he knew reasonably well, when his world stuttered to a halt as the boy beside Zayn turned towards him. His hair was sharper and quiffed up, and he was wearing far more clothes than Nick was used to, but DoncASSter_twink was most definitely standing in front of him in the flesh, curious eyes falling on Nick’s face.

“Everyone, do you know Nick? Louis, I don’t think you two have met.” Harry was anything but subtle. The way Louis’ face fell into a smirk as everyone else nodded at Nick in recognition made him think Louis felt similarly about Harry’s matchmaking skills.

“We haven’t, but obviously I know who you are.” Nick’s heart felt like it had been encased in ice, fear shooting through his veins in the time it took Louis to smirk and sip on his beer before continuing. “Listen to you on the breakfast show all the time.”

“Oh, yeah? Umm. Thanks, I guess.” Nick could barely get the words out, knew he was sounding standoffish and rude, but his mouth couldn’t form words when confronted with this man who he knew intimately and yet not at all. How had this happened? How between years of knowing Harry and Zayn had he never met this kid? How was he expected to cope with the knowledge that he had watched Louis come countless times while Harry was trying to set them up?

Harry was talking, Nick was vaguely aware of his slow drawl through the rushing sound of his own blood that filled his ears. It was impossible to take his eyes off the boy in front of him, something Louis clearly realised from the smug smile he was giving Nick as he preened slightly under the attention.

The sudden urge to get away, to clear his head, grasped Nick like a vice. He stuttered out excuses and turned in the direction of the door to escape for a fag. Harry was calling to him as he walked away but whatever he was saying fell on deaf ears.

Nick leaned against the building wall when he finally got outside, sliding down it to sit on his heels. His hands shook as he lit a cigarette and took a long, soothing draw. Seeing Donny, sorry Louis, had been possibly the last thing he was anticipating from tonight. Louis being the man Harry was determined he would be perfect with was even worse, because the thing was Nick wanted him so badly, knew they would be so good. He had fucking promised himself that were he ever to meet Donny he would at least try to snog the lad, if nothing more, but now he was faced with the prospect all he could envisage was running as far away as possible.

Two cigarettes had burned to the filter by the time Nick felt calm enough to attempt going back into the party. His plan was simple, plan A was to ignore Louis and Harry entirely, and plan B was to run away. Both were solid options in Nick’s opinion.

“Can I cadge a fag?” Louis, well there was Plan A down the toilet. Nick’s feet were rooted to the ground as every muscle froze with the sound of Donny’s voice, making Plan B an impossibility too.

“Sure.” Nick knew his voice was curt and cold, but he was struggling having Donny, no Louis, this close to him. He tapped a cigarette out of his pack and held it and his lighter out to Louis. The other man took the fag but ignored the lighter, looking at Nick pointedly until Nick lit it for him. The flame shook with Nick’s hands, giving away just how affected he was by this whole evening.

Silence stretched between them, growing more awkward with every draw Louis took of his cigarette. Nick had finished smoking, and was just awkwardly hanging around, unable to talk but also unable to leave the magnetic boy in front of him. He knew he needed to say something, to break the silence, he just didn’t expect the words that came out of his mouth to be “Do you come here often?” As soon as he spoke he wanted to sink into the ground, a feeling exacerbated by the smirk on Louis’ face.

“Do I come here often? To the brand new flat my best friend just moved into a week ago? No, can’t say I do. What about you, Nicholas?” Nick almost melted at the snarky tone of Louis’ voice, it was pure Donny. He had provoked that tone countless times before online, and hearing it right in front of him was almost too much.

“I, um, no?” How was that even a question? Why was his brain acting up so much that he couldn’t even answer a simple question with a statement? Nick wondered whether he had gone into shock. He needed to pull back some control here, and the only way he could think to salvage the situation was to slip into his natural defence mechanism and be rude to Louis. At least that way he could reject the kid before anyone got hurt, or found out he was a secret internet pervert.

“Look, this has been nice and all but I’m going to go back inside and talk to the grown ups.” Nick had aimed for sharp but his voice fell somewhere in-between mildly pained and utterly broken. This really wasn’t working well. He pushed off the wall and headed in what he hoped was the direction of the door, dazed by the presence of this beautiful kid who he had watched wank a hundred times or more.

“Fine.” He heard from behind him, followed by a muttered ‘wanker’ which really shouldn’t be going straight to his cock but for some reason was.

An hour later and Nick was well on his way to being bladdered. There had been shots with Aimee and beers with Ed and weed with Zayn and he was one hundred percent trashed. It was perfect, exactly the kind of state he needed to be in to cope with the dirty looks Harry was shooting him and the presence of Louis in the room. He could sense where Louis was even when he couldn’t see him, which was frankly insane, but true none the less.

He found himself back outside, smoking his tenth cigarette of the evening. Something his voice would not be thanking him for tomorrow, but he was drunk and not really caring.

“Why are you being so rude?” Louis, again. They needed to stop meeting like this, for the sake of Nick’s sanity if nothing else.

“Not being rude, babe, just being me.” The babe just slipped out, it was sardonic anyway. No one could prove otherwise.

Louis snorted in frustration, scrubbing a hand over his face and into his hair, tugging on it just how Nick wanted to tug on it. That wasn’t fair, Louis wasn’t playing fair.

“Seem’s pretty rude to me, mate. And not exactly how Harry’s described you when he’s been telling me how well we would get on for the past three fucking months.” Louis had grabbed the packet of cigarettes from Nick’s hand and was helping himself, not waiting for Nick to provide a light this time, rather angrily flicking at his own lighter until it sparked into life. He was so pretty, was the thing, even when angry and pissed off at Nick he was so fucking pretty. His skin reflected the dim light seeping from the open door and managed to look even more golden than usual. Nick wanted to taste it and know if Louis’ flavour was as sweet as he suspected.

“Listen, Donn...” Nick caught himself but the damage was clearly done from the way Louis’ eyes went wide and a pretty blush crept over his cheeks.

“What did you just call me?” Nick dropped his face into his hands, unable to face this head on. “Oh my fucking god, you know. You do, don’t you?” Louis sounded incredulous. Nick peeked from between his hands, seeing a strange mix of amusement and anger on the other boys face.

“Know what?” One last attempt to play this off, to save his reputation as Nick Grimshaw - man who definitely does not watch pretty boys wank online.

“Don’t play dumb, Grimshaw. What’s your username?”

“I’m sorry ok. I didn’t know you were... well you.” Nick protested, if he could not say his username he might save some sort of face here, maybe have Louis think he had caught him online once and once only.

“Grim... fuck. It’s you.” Apparently that idea was out the window too. Louis was sharper than even Nick had given him credit for, and Nick was halfway in love with him and pretty much thought Louis was perfect. Nick definitely didn’t feel a surge of triumph and arousal at the fact Donny, Louis, whatever, had noticed him enough to put two and two together with his username. Definitely not.

“I’m sorry. I’ll go. I’m so sorry. You never have to see me again. But please Louis, please don’t tell anyone.” If it would help Nick would get down on his knees and grovel right here amongst the collection of cigarette butts that had built up over the course of the party.

“Why would I want you to go?” Louis was laughing. Laughing at his pain and discomfort.

“Because you think I’m a creepy pervert who watches you wank? Louis, please?” He just needed to know if his life was going to fall apart, that’s all. Then he could get home and drink himself further into oblivion than he had done already.

“My favourite creepy pervert, who I really like watching me wank.” And what? That was more than Nick’s poor alcohol addled brain could handle right now. Louis liked him? He liked the fact that Nick watched his show? Again, what?

“What?” Nick wasn’t sure how long it had taken him to force that one word out, how long he had stood with his mouth gaping as Louis just smirked at him with his pretty fucking face. It could have been thirty seconds or three years, Nick would probably never know.

“Eloquent. I can see why the Beeb gave you that job now.” Louis coughed, trying to control the laughter that seemed to be threatening to bubble over again. “I said that you are my favourite, and I like that you watch me wank.”

“Your favourite?” Nick couldn’t be certain he was actually saying words out loud, but Louis seemed to be responding so his brain must be doing something right along the way.

“Seems there’s an echo around here. Yes, Nicholas. I like seeing your name online. I like your comments. You could do to tip me more,” Louis looked thoughtful for a moment “but all in all you are my favourite.”

Nick let out a small “oh” as he deflated, sinking to the ground and into the littered butts even though he didn’t need to beg. When he looked up at Louis the younger man was lighting two of Nick’s cigarettes and handing one over. Nick had never been more grateful for nicotine.

“Pretty sure it should be me that’s in shock here, by the way. I’m the one who could be outed as a sex worker and all that.” Louis plonked himself on the relatively clean patch of ground beside Nick, seeming to be far happier than his words might imply. It brought into stark contrast the fact that Nick had barely considered Louis’ feelings in all this. Nick deflated further, groaning around the smoke escaping his lungs.

“I’m so sorry. Yet again, I am so fucking sorry.” Louis nudged his shoulder into Nick’s as Nick spoke.

“S’ok. I’d have been pissed off if you’d told the others, and I’m not exactly happy you were being a dick to me. I get it though.” Louis’ voice was softer, melting around the edges like it did just before he came. Which was not something Nick should really be thinking about.

“You do?” This was not how Nick envisaged this conversation would ever have gone, not in his wildest fantasies of meeting DoncASSter_twink in some dingy club or on the street or any of the various other ways he had hoped it might go down. Sitting outside Harry Styles’ flat, with Harry Styles’ best friend, drunk off his arse, in a mess of cigarette butts had strangely not featured in his fantasies.

“Yeah. I mean. I’ve wondered what would happen if I met one of my viewers in real life. A friend of mine, another guy from the site, he met a bloke on Portabello once. Guy came right up to him asking if he was his username. Poor kid was with his mum, had to feign ignorance and say it must be some other person who looked a bit like him. The guy was so insistent. It was a mess. He quit after that.” Louis took a drag of his cigarette. “So yeah. I’ve wondered. I’ve worried. Especially as my mates got closer and closer to being considered proper famous, like. Didn’t want to be outed and fuck things for Zayn, or Harry even. You now, I guess.”

“I guess.” Nick echoed. “Although I’ve done a pretty solid job of putting myself in that position anyway.”

“No physical evidence of you though, innit? No screenshots of your cock saved to some blokes computer. No videos someone ripped of your head thrown back as you come.” Louis’ words should not be causing blood to rush to Nick’s cock, but the image of Louis’ head thrown back just like that was too much for him right now. Was one he knew all too well.

“I... Do you not like doing it then?” Nick was so confused. Two minutes ago he was Louis’ favourite and Louis loved the fact Nick watched him. Now he seemed melancholy and introspective about the whole thing.

“I love it. Love people watching me get off. Love the interactions. Love knowing I make so many people come. I just know I can’t do it forever, and I worry about what happens if I get outed. I’m not ashamed, in any way shape or form, but society is shit.” Louis stubbed out his cigarette before pushing back up off the ground.

“Now you,” Louis extended a hand to Nick, “need to come and dance with your favourite cam boy.” Louis’ tone brightened and suddenly he was smiling so wide that it was like the actual sun was beating down on Nick.

“If I’m not your favourite though, leave and never darken Harry’s door again.” That was accompanied by a playful poke to Nick’s ribs, so he guessed things were ok. He wobbled as he stood, suddenly acutely aware of just how much he had drunk as part of operation: ignore Louis and Harry. The operation had been a massive failure, obviously, but Nick was still drunk.

The bass was pounding when they got back inside, Zayn had taken over the decks some time ago it seemed. The living room, and most of the kitchen and hall, was a sea of sweaty writhing bodies. Before they had even made it far into the crowd Louis was pushing his arse back against Nick’s crotch, grinding short sharp circles out that drove Nick mad with want. He placed his hands firmly on the younger man’s hips, trying to hold him still, but trying to hold Louis was like trying to hold onto an eel. He writhed and laughed and teased and brought his lips oh so close to Nick’s oh so many times, only to duck away with a giggle and a twist. It was pure torture.

The song changed, segueing into a remix of a song Nick played too often on the radio. He would have tuned out the music and focused on Louis instead if it weren’t for the way that Louis punctuated the beat with the movement of his hips. His arse was like sin, round and pert and encased in jeans so tight that Nick thought they should come with a health warning. The bass dropped and Louis threw his head back against Nick’s chest as he ground down into Nick’s crotch. Finally he took Nick’s hands and placed them on his hips, their bodies moving together as the song rose to its crescendo.

Louis spun in his arms again, pushing their chests together, bodies joined as much as was humanly possible while Louis still wouldn’t allow them to kiss. He darted and evaded Nick’s mouth like a snake, giggling as Nick’s lips fell ineffectually on every inch of exposed skin apart from Louis’ plush open mouth.

“You have to watch. It’s your punishment.” Louis’ voice in his ear was high and breathy and filled with desire. Nick could hardly control himself, Louis’ words playing into every fantasy he had ever had about Donny. A moan fell from his lips as he ground himself against Louis, hoping for any small amount of friction the younger boy would allow him.

“Oh...” Louis’ voice was as dark as his blown out eyes. “You like that don’t you? Want to watch me. Is that what gets you off when you watch my show? The thought of being made to watch as I tease you?"

Nick could only nod weakly, taking in the wicked look in Louis’ eye as he pushed away with a muttered order for Nick to go get drinks. Nick’s body seemed to respond before his mind did, walking him into the kitchen and grabbing two beers before he even realised. Louis had a spell on him, there was practically nothing Nick wouldn’t do to be the one to shut his sassy mouth with a kiss. He was just thinking about exactly the depths he would go to to earn a kiss, when he walked back into the busy living room to the sight of Louis grinding against someone else. His heart froze at the same moment that his cock twitched.

Louis’ eyes met his across the room, just as the younger man threw his head back in an exaggerated moan, grinding back on the unknown stranger. Louis’ gaze didn’t break for a second, sardonic smirk back in place as soon as he stopped moaning obscenely. The stranger’s hands roamed over Louis’ stomach and hips, grabbing him in a way that made something burn in Nick’s chest.

Louis beckoned Nick over, taking both beers from his hands and passing one to his new dancing companion with a smirk. Nick was about to open his mouth to protest when Louis leaned towards him, mouthing at his ear.

“No more for you. You’ve drunk enough. Need you to be able to perform, if you catch my drift.” Louis whispered hotly in Nick’s ear, just as he ground back on the man still encircling his waist. He let out a little moan at the end, gasping as he pushed back. Nick was torn between jealousy and desire, between pulling Louis off this man and dragging him to a dark corner to ravish him, and just watching this all go down, watching Louis flirt and dance and maybe kiss someone else. Louis wanted to go home with Nick, or he’d implied that anyway, Nick thought he’d implied it, it was confusing.

Louis had turned back to his partner. The other man, Nick wasn’t sure who he was, looked like he might eat Louis alive. The burn in Nick’s chest grew stronger, spreading through him like wildfire and leaving him empty of anything but desire for Louis. Nick wanted to force the other man’s hands from Louis’ body, to mark the boy with possessive bruises, to play him as well as he had fantasised all those times. Instead he stood back and watched Louis dance, lost in a haze of arousal and jealousy.

“What on earth is going on, Grimmy?” Harry’s voice broke through his reverie, pulling his eyes from Louis and his partner for the first time in what felt like days.

“What d’you mean?” Maybe playing innocent would work better with Harry than it had with Louis. Louis, who kept catching Nick’s eye as he danced. Louis, who’s smirk was practically blinding watching Nick try to talk to Harry.

“With Louis. Don’t play dumb. You’ve been rude all night, then you both go to smoke, come back in draped all over each other, and now he’s dancing with Mark?” Harry handed Nick a new beer, but Louis shook his head minutely from across the room, glaring at Nick, and he sadly handed it back with a mumbled excuse.

“Look, we talked, we danced a bit, I went to get drinks, he met someone else. It’s not a big deal. Shit happens Harold.” Nick cuffed Harry on the shoulder, hoping that he was hitting ‘jovial and ok with this’ rather than ‘insanely turned on voyeur’. The glare Harry gave him implied he might have fallen short, but Harry’s face soon softened and he shrugged in acceptance of Nick’s words.

“I’m sorry, man. He’s not normally like this. Haven’t actually seen Lou pull in yonks and then he gets two men in one night. I’d be impressed if it didn’t screw you over.” Harry was attempting to pull Nick in for a hug which could be highly awkward if Harry felt the raging boner that Nick was sporting. Throwing his hands up he stepped back, hoping that Harry wouldn’t be offended.

“Haz! I told you it’s fine. I’m not bothered, honestly.” Harry pouted but seemed to be content to leave it be. Nick’s attention turned back to Louis who was shooting daggers from across the room as his little show had gone unwatched. The smirk returned in full force once he realised he had captured Nick’s attention again. He pushed back onto his partner harder, grinding his arse against the other man’s cock, reminding Nick viscerally of how that exact movement had felt on his own cock not twenty minutes ago.

He was a fool to have let on to Louis how much voyeurism turned him on, and yet he couldn’t seem to be annoyed at the situation.

That changed, and a line was crossed, when Louis turned towards Nick, licked his lips and went to kiss the strange man. Nick was across the room so fast he barely remembered moving, pulling Louis from the man’s arms and pushing him bodily against the wall beside them. His mouth claimed Louis’ instantly, and gratification washed through him at the way the boy went utterly pliant in his arms. The breathy whine Louis let out as the kiss deepened just served to fuel Nick further, making his cock twitch and the hair on his arms stand on end. Louis was electric.

There was noise from behind them, and Nick vaguely registered the noise of the other man shouting at them and asking what the fuck was going on, before Harry’s placating tones took over and the man’s voice grew quieter as he was ushered away. Nick couldn’t care less. Screw the fact people now might be able to deduce their game, screw the fact everyone at this party was watching him ravish Louis against a wall. Screw it all. He had Donny under his fingertips, finally perfectly under his fingertips, and nothing else in the world mattered.

“Home. Bed. Mine? Yours?” Louis was panting single words into Nick’s mouth, unable or unwilling to break the kiss, Nick wasn’t sure.

“Yours.” Nick was pulling them towards the door. He ignored the incredulous looks of their friends, the glares of the mystery man, and the smug bastard look on Harry’s face. He had more important things to worry about. Mostly his cock. And Louis’ cock. His and Louis’ cock’s together. Or something.

One uber ride and a heart-stopping thirty seconds where Louis couldn’t remember which pocket his keys were in, they were in the hallway of Louis’ flat, panting into each other’s mouths as they tore at their clothing.

“Liked watching me didn’t you? With that guy?” Louis sounded unsure, something in his tone seeking reassurance.

“Fuck. Louis. You looked so hot. I didn’t know if I wanted to drag you away and fuck you or stay and watch you suck his cock.” Nick palmed Louis’ ass, squeezing to make his point. Louis threw his head back and groaned at the sensation. This kid really was a porn star, Nick’s personal porn star.

“Glad you dragged me away. Don’t know if I’d have been able to stop teasing you, might have gone too far and got myself in trouble.” Louis whined as he pushed against Nick, needier than he had been at the party, giving Nick control where before he had been the one to tease.

“Wouldn't've let you. Gonna be mine, Lou? Gonna let me mark you?” Nick wasn’t sure where that was coming from. He wasn’t usually possessive, didn’t even want a boyfriend mere hours ago, and yet the thought of Louis with anyone else, not being _his_? It made the fire burn inside him again.

Louis moaned out something that sounded like yes, tilting his neck to the side in a gesture Nick took as an invitation. His lips latched onto Louis’ caramel skin, finally tasting the sweet saltiness of him. Behind his ear was a faint trace of cologne, mingled with the scent of cigarettes and something unmistakably Louis. There might be a trace of the other man on his skin too, but that wasn’t something Nick was willing to consider right now.

He sucked a dark mark into the skin just at the junction of Louis’ neck and shoulder, before licking over it with his tongue. Louis looked even prettier with Nick’s marks on him, and it fuelled the possessive flames that were threatening to engulf Nick and leave him in ashes.

“Bedroom, now.” Nick bit down on Louis again to emphasise his point, and was dragged to a room he knew so well from watching Louis on cam. It was still a mess, and Nick still couldn’t see anything but the beautiful boy in front of him. When he did manage to drag his eyes away, however, they fell upon an open box of sex toys beside the bed. There were dildos and vibrators, including a hitachi wand that Nick so badly wanted to hold on Louis’ balls until he screamed and came untouched.

There were plugs that he wanted to stretch Louis with, and cock rings that he wanted to use to tease this boy until he begged for release. There were paddles that made Nick’s mouth water and even a crop that piqued his curiosity in ways he had never expected. Nick wanted to delve into that box and use it all on Louis, have it all used on him in return, but not tonight. Tonight he wanted to learn and taste and catalogue his boy, to mark him and make him his.

Louis was sat on the bed, eyes wide and almost innocent despite the box and despite the fact Nick knew oh so much about him. It was endearing, this soft side to Louis that Nick hadn’t really had the pleasure of seeing before. Louis wasn’t just spiky and sharp, he was needy and pliant and he looked at Nick like he wanted him as much if not more than Nick wanted Louis. He looked on edge waiting for Nick to touch him, to kiss him again.

“Nick. Fucking get over here.” Ah there was the Louis that Nick had expected, even if that shiver of insecurity still ran through his words.

He crossed the room, settling beside Louis on the bed and running his hand through the other man’s hair, tugging slightly in the way he had wanted to do all night. The quiff Louis had been wearing at the start of the night had long since drooped and fallen, but he still looked like an angel. Louis groaned and moved into the touch, encouraging Nick to tug harder.

“Did you like the panties last night?” The question was barely louder than a whisper.

“You know I did. You looked so pretty, Lou.” Nick bit down onto Louis’ exposed collarbone, trying to ground himself so he didn’t come at just the thought of Louis on cam the previous evening.

“Everyone else wanted them off. Only you said to keep them on.” Louis was whining now as Nick continued to pull his hair and bite his neck and shoulders.

“What? But you said...” Nick turned to look at Louis’ face, wide open and showing every ounce of how turned on he was. Nick had never seen him this pretty on cam, and this was all for Nick.

“I lied.” Louis’ response was short and simple but it made Nick’s stomach flip at the proof that Louis hadn’t been lying when he said Nick was his favourite. Their mouths met with a clash of teeth, the passion driving the kiss hopefully answering Louis and showing him how much that meant to Nick.

Nick broke the kiss only to move down Louis’ torso, kissing and biting and licking every inch of skin he could get his mouth on. Louis’ tummy was so perfect, toned but still soft around the edges and it made Nick want to kiss and lick him all day. The bulge in Louis’ jeans that pushed occasionally at Nick’s chin was too distracting though.

His fingers shook as he finally unbuttoned Louis’ jeans. the thought of getting his mouth on Louis was almost too much and he had to stop for a second to push down hard on his own traitorous cock. He would be dammed if he was going to ruin this by coming too soon, not when he had waited so long for this fantasy to be real.

Nick let out a hiss as he pulled down the jeans. Louis was wearing panties again. They weren’t the ones from last night, those were probably ruined. Instead they were a little lilac pair of shorts made of a sheer polka dot material, trimmed with delicate lace. Nick’s Christmas and birthday wishes for the next five years had all come true at once. How was he supposed to cope with this?

“Do you like them?” Louis broke the silence, drawing Nick’s eye from the stunning sight of Louis’ crotch to his face. His eyes were dark and wanton as he licked his lips, a faint blush staining his skin.

“I nearly came in my pants.” It wasn’t suave or romantic, but Nick’s brain to mouth filter was having to battle against the fact that all of the blood in his body was in his rock hard cock.

“Well that would be a bit shit, but I’ll take it as a compliment. Please don’t come in your pants though. Not sure you’re young enough to go again.” The insult paired with the sharpness in Louis’ voice was enough to make Nick’s cock twitch violently in his too tight jeans. He stripped quickly, standing before Louis naked in seconds. Louis lay on the bed in only the panties from hell, looking for all the world like a work of art.

He kneeled on the bed and leaned forward to kiss Louis again, bracketing the smaller man with his body. They had been so busy bickering like a pair of housecats all night that he had barely even noticed the size difference between them. Louis was compact and curvy and so small, whereas Nick was long and lanky, all limbs and skin and bone. The contrast between them was perfect, and Nick dropped his body onto Louis so he could fully appreciate how small the boy was underneath him.

“Fucking get off me you oaf.” Clearly Louis didn’t appreciate the size difference as much as Nick, but before Nick could move Louis had snaked his arms around him and was holding them tight together. Ok maybe he didn’t mind it.

“Love that you are so much bigger than me.” He whispered in Nick’s ear. “But,” Louis bit behind his ear “never quote me on that, or say it when I’m sober, or not fucking you, or not horny.” Nick could work with that, and the implication that he would be fucking Louis more than once was definitely something he could get on board with.

The beautiful panties were too much of a temptation, and Nick broke away from Louis’ lips to move back down his body towards them. One finger teased the edge, lifting the lace and then gently running over the line of Louis’ exposed cock. They did nothing at all to preserve Louis’ modesty. He mouthed over Louis’ head through the material, sucking and licking and ruining the sheer fabric. Louis moaned above him, propped up on his elbows to watch Nick put on a show for him for once.

“Do you like me watching you? Finally got your mouth on me, you must have wanted this for so long. Maybe I should broadcast you doing this, show everyone how desperate you are for my cock.” The filth fell from Louis’ mouth with a practiced ease, turning the temperature in the room up a degree with every word.

“Fuck. You have no idea” Nick panted heavily where his face lay against Louis’ thigh. His own cock was throbbing, reminding him angrily that he had barely touched himself. But it would have to wait. He pulled back the material and hooked it under Louis’ balls, just like the boy had done to himself the night before. Finally he could take Louis in his mouth, taste every drop of his arousal. Louis tasted perfect, musky and salty and everything Nick wanted. His cock was a heavy weight on Nick’s tongue, stretching his jaw just enough to be on the edge of painful. Louis gasped as Nick ran his tongue over Louis’ head, before sinking down and taking as much of him in as possible.

“Look so good like that Grim. Knew you would. Knew you would know exactly what to do to please me. You’ve been taking notes haven’t you? Learning what turns me on? Watching me and wanking over me with all the other perverts. Do you come quickly when you watch me babe? Do I turn you on?” Louis was whining and moaning and choking around the words as Nick failed to answer any of his questions, too focused on the task at hand. Nick did blush deeply though, and Louis clearly noticed from the way he ran a finger reverently over Nick’s skin.

“Want you to keep watching me, you know. Even if this keeps happening. Want to make you watch me get messages from hundreds of men, knowing they are all seeing me get off when you want me to be yours.” Nick had to pull off, panting and catching his breath for a second before he was able to answer.

“Yes. Fucking please, yes. Are you a mind reader?” Louis chuckled at the response before gently placing one hand on the back of Nick’s head and pushing him back where Louis needed him.

“You want that? Want to watch as I make myself come for them all? You could be here. Would you like that? Watch my next show live? Get you all wound up and jealous and then you get to fuck me after?” Nick couldn’t respond, Louis was holding him in place and Nick had no intention of fighting that. Instead he sucked and licked and hummed around Louis’ cock, hoping that the redoubling of his efforts would be a satisfactory response.

“You’re so good at this, gonna make me come babe. Fuck. Nick. Fuck.” Louis went tense, his whole body seeming to be part of his release, before suddenly he was shaking and thrusting into Nick’s mouth erratically, moaning Nick’s name as he came down his throat. Nick didn’t stand a chance, and he came from just the sound of Louis and the minute amount of friction he had managed to get from the soft sheets.

Nick collapsed onto the bed, utterly spent from coming so hard with so little stimulation. Louis crawled down the bed and wrapped Nick in his arms, still breathing heavily from his own release.

“That was...” Louis started, before breaking off. Nick looked up at him, hoping that the desperation for this to happen again wasn’t written plainly across his face. Louis’ face softened.

“Amazing, that was amazing.” The younger boy sighed, wiping some stray come from Nick’s chin and kissing him gently on the lips. Nick’s lips parted and the kiss deepened once again, Louis groaning at the taste of himself in Nick’s mouth.

They stayed curled up for a while, until the wet spot beneath Nick grew too gross to cope with and he was forced to push off the bed and out of Louis’ arms. Louis followed, leading him into the bathroom to clean up and then out onto a small balcony off Louis’ bedroom. There they curled up on a bench surrounded by blankets Louis seemed to produce from nowhere, Nick still naked, Louis still in panties, and still curled into each other, craving touches and softness.

“Don’t expect me to be nice to you.” Louis yawned around an exhale from his cigarette.

“I’d hate it if you were.”


	3. Clarify Our Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure about tags for this chapter... it's basically a lot of sex and some feelings. I will add tags in but theres forced orgasms (in a good way), mild humiliation, body piercing, more bdsm, silly boys wanting to run and then fluff, a lot of fucking fluff.
> 
> So sorry this third part took so long to arrive. It's all done now x
> 
> Chapter title is from Papi Pacify by FKA Twigs

Three weeks had passed, and Louis still hadn’t told Nick to fuck off out of his life. Not seriously at least. Nick took that as a win. 

Being with Louis was a whirlwind of dates and tea and sex and toast and soft touches and cereal and fond looks. There had been arguments too, of course. Louis wouldn’t be Louis if he didn’t argue over how his tea was made, or which type of crisps and dip they should get from tesco, or whether waitrose own brand ketchup was better than heinz (Nick thought it was, Louis thought Nick was a posh twat, they didn’t talk for half an hour after that one)

They had spent the majority of their time together since the party, hanging out in their flats after work, or in the pub with friends, or just curled up in bed together. Nick was getting dangerously used to this domesticity and was really just waiting for the rug to be pulled from under his feet. It wasn’t like things were easy, they argued daily over those tiny minuscule details, but they fit somehow in a way he had never experienced with a boyfriend before, and to be frank it terrified him. Louis terrified him. He had wanted the boy for so bloody long, and now he had him there was a big part of him that wanted to run away and never look back. The more sane part of him had words with that part of him daily. 

As Nick stood in front of the mirror trying to make sure his quiff was quite right, the part of him that was tempted to run was changing into running shorts and doing up its laces. Louis coming up behind him and placing soothing kisses into the skin between Nick’s shoulder blades just added to the itch underneath his skin. Nick wasn’t a coward, and he wanted to be here, he wanted to be with Louis. But what he was about to do scared him shitless.

“You really don’t need to do your hair, babes.” Louis murmured into his skin. “Well, not that hair anyway.” Louis snickered at his own joke as he palmed over Nick’s crotch. And despite the desire to run, Nick felt his body responding just how it always did to Louis, how it always had to Louis, before they had even met.

Louis was right, no one was going to see his hair, no one was going to see his face even, because he was about to star in a supporting role on Louis’ cam show, and the only thing they would be seeing was his cock. His cock that he had meticulously groomed and which was very much ready for it’s close up. He still wanted his hair to look right, though. He wasn’t sure why, but it was important. 

Ten minutes later Nick was sat tied to a chair in the corner of Louis’ room. It was Louis’ desk chair, on wheels for Louis to move him into shot when he was ready, but right now he was pushed into the corner, ignored, as Louis stripped and made sure everything was set up right. Nick couldn’t help but test the ties that bound him, wriggling his hands and his feet against the soft scarves that Louis may or may not have stolen from Harry.

“Nicholas, be good.” Louis looked stern. “Or you won’t get your reward.” Nick couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows at the boy, much as he knew he shouldn’t antagonise this. Louis was naturally feisty and argumentative, yes, dominant to a point, even, but in bed he tended to melt into a begging mess given half a chance. The chances of him refusing to suck Nick, especially when that was on camera, were slim to none. Louis had an exhibitionist streak a mile wide, that was one thing Nick was one hundred percent certain of. 

“Now shush, or I'll gag you. You’re meant to be a surprise for _all_ the lovely men who’re about to wank over me.” Louis looked so smug, and there was nothing Nick wanted to do more than kiss that smug look off his pretty face. That would happen later, though. Nick had plans.

Louis leaned over his computer, adjusting the webcam one last time before he sat back on his bed, beside his laptop, naked as the day he was born.

“Hello, loves. How are you all? Sorry it’s been a little while since my last show. I’ve met someone you see, and he gets a bit too excited over my shows, if you know what I mean. Fucks me into the mattress every time I do one.” His laugh was pure and light, ringing through Nick’s ears even as his face burnt with shame. It was true. Every time Louis had done a show since they had met, Nick had watched it in the next room, sitting on his hands until Louis finished and then running into the bedroom and fucking Louis till he couldn’t walk. 

That was the reason why Nick was strapped to the chair, because Louis didn’t trust him to control himself. It had nothing to do with Nick’s fantasy of being tied up and teased as Louis did a show, nothing at all.

“Aww, so many lovely jealous boys out there who want their own chance at fucking me. We’ll see what we can do.” Louis winked at the fucking screen and Nick seethed with jealousy, discovering that it just made his cock even harder, which just fuelled his anger. It was a self-propagating cycle of hard cocks and pre come. “How many are watching right now I wonder? Hmmm.... that’s nearly three hundred.” Nick’s cock _ ached _ . It twitched and it leaked against his stomach and it  _ ached _ with the need to be inside Louis. Maybe this had been a bad idea after all.

The rest of the broadcast continued in that vein for at least fifteen minutes of pure torture, which felt like fifteen days. Nick wasn’t sure if it was possible to die from needing to have your cock touched, but felt for sure that he was testing the boundaries. Louis was particularly vocal, reading out messages and smirking over at Nick often.

“Oh babe, you naughty boy, can’t believe you want to spank me till I come.” 

_ Hard _

“Wow, nasty. I love it. Want to get your tongue right inside me don’t you?”

_ Harder _

“Mmmm did you taste yourself for me love? How was it? Bet I taste better, you’d love to lap my come from my chest wouldn’t you.”

Nick’s cock got harder still with every word that fell from Louis’ obscenely dirty mouth. He was almost lightheaded with how hard he was, glad he was sitting. There was no way his legs would hold under him if he were to try and walk at that moment.

Louis narrated his viewership rising, until it peaked at 543 people. Nick nearly came spontaneously at that, over five hundred people were watching Louis wank and finger himself, were watching him deep throat one end of a double ended dildo, were watching him bend over on all fours and play with his balls and hole for the camera. Honestly it was obscene, in all the best possible ways.

“And now I have a special little treat for you all, boys. No love, I’m not gonna agree to meet one of you.” He laughed at that. How could Louis be so relaxed and calm about this when Nick felt like his heart might be about to beat straight out of his chest.

Louis stood. Long lean muscles in his legs flexing as he practically stalked past the camera and over to Nick. He very briefly pressed his lips to Nick’s, before trailing them up Nick’s jaw line towards his ear.

“Enjoying this? Like watching me perform for them, yeah?” His voice was hot and breathy against Nick’s ear, Nick tried to turn, to capture Louis’ mouth again, but Louis was quick, dancing around Nick, evading, teasing, just like the first night they had met.

Louis pushed the chair, moving it over onto the marks they had placed on the carpet earlier. Positioned so his cock would be perfectly in shot but his face could not be seen. Louis grinned from where he was still off camera, blowing a quick kiss Nick’s way before his game face was back on and he was back on screen.

“Mmmmmm.” He practically purred, looking for all the world like the cat who got the cream, or was about to get the cream more like. “As you can see I am joined today by a real life cock.” He giggled, and it should not be endearing but it absolutely was. Nick’s cock twitched at the sight, more pre come leaking onto his already wet stomach.

“The owner of said cock is not allowed to talk.” Louis winked at the camera. “If he does, I stop, and he doesn’t get to come all night. So he’d better be good, eh boys?”

Louis traced patterns with his pointer finger into Nick’s thighs and stomach as he spoke, ending by running it through the pre come that was pooling near Nick’s hip. He locked eyes with Nick for a second as he raised it to his mouth, an extended moment that seemed to take forever, before turning back to the camera at the last moment when he sucked the finger into his mouth. His eyes fluttered closed as he did so, a low moan emanating from the back of his throat. 

“Tasty.” He winked again. This small, perfect, devil of a boy would be the death of Nick.

“Now boys, if you want to see me suck this lovely gentleman’s cock, and let him come all over my face, now is the time to tip!” Louis moved away from the camera, sitting back on the bed where he could still be seen, while he waited for the tips to pour in. He chatted on with the men talking to him, thanking them and encouraging them, all while Nick’s cock sat front and centre in the shot, twitching and leaking and aching and needing.

Louis stretched like a cat on the bed, flexing and showing off his lithe body. His tattoos stood out like a road map of Nick’s darkest fantasies, dark against the tanned skin. 

“Thank you so much boys, I’m gonna be able to buy  _ so _ many fun things to play with for you with that lot.” He directed his words to the viewers but his gaze didn’t waver from Nick’s for a second. A shiver ran down Nick’s spine, settling at the base in tendrils of need. If Louis didn’t move and get his mouth on Nick soon, Nick might come spontaneously for the first time since he was fourteen and first discovered porn on the internet.

Louis moved swiftly then, uncurling from his spot on the bed and moving towards Nick. He dropped to his knees, brushing his hair from his face before he placed both hands on Nick’s thighs.

“Now lovely viewers, just a quick reminder my friend here isn’t allowed to talk.” Louis looked up at him, eyes dark and hooded. Nick knew it was for his own sake, his voice was too well known to be able to talk on Louis’ cam channel, but he also knew it was a challenge. Nick was talkative in bed, and Louis loved it, but he also loved to stop Nick being able to do things that came naturally. He loved the power, the control. Nick knew that because he loved to do the same to Louis. Not talking was something Nick had imposed on Louis a few days ago when Louis was submitting to him for once, Louis had squirmed and writhed as the words built up inside him, hoping for release just as Louis was. This was Louis getting his own back.

Louis’ eyes flicked to the camera once, before they fell to Nick’s crotch. One finger traced the vein on the underside of Nick’s cock lightly, teasingly, before it spread the pre come that was still leaking down Nick’s shaft. Nick groaned deeply. He might not be allowed to use words but there was no way on earth he could stay silent.

Slowly, as if he were moving through treacle, Louis lowered his mouth towards Nick, tongue out and ready. It was a sight that would kill a lesser man, or just one less used to Louis Tomlinson’s sex kitten ways. His tongue flicked as soon as he was close enough, darting back into his mouth covered in pre come, before his head fell back and away from Nick in an exaggerated moan.

Nick flexed and stretched at his bonds, unable to cope with Louis teasing him like this. The light kittenish lick and then nothing was worse than nothing had been to start with. Louis’ hands squeezed almost imperceptibly on his thighs, the viewers wouldn’t catch it but it was clearly meant to pacify Nick, for just after he brought his mouth back, and this time took Nick deep in his mouth in one quick swallow. 

Nick wailed. He wouldn’t be proud of the fact later, but he threw his head back and wailed at the sensation of finally, finally having Louis’ talented clever mouth around him. When he looked back down, Louis was smiling smugly around his mouthful of cock, which shouldn’t be possible but if anyone could make it work it was Louis. He swallowed again, the sensation like heaven on the head of Nick’s dick, before he pulled off slightly, breathing deeply through his nose, and then taking Nick all the way in again. 

Louis was magic, it was the only explanation Nick had been able to come up with so far that could explain how amazing he was at this. That, or he was actually a demon as Nick suspected at times. Those thoughts were driven from his mind, however, as Louis pulled off his cock panting, looking like wanton sin. His lips were red and swollen and his eyes were dark and filled with an arousing cocktail of desire, smugness and pride. 

While Louis caught his breath he grasped Nick with one hand instead, moving lightly over him as he leaned over to check his feed.

“Mmm they like you babe. Think you’ve got a pretty cock. Wanna see you more often.” Louis looked up quickly, slight insecurity showing on his face, a question there of if Nick was ok, if Louis could push it more. Nick nodded quickly, wanting everything Louis could give him.

“Oh wow.” Louis looked genuinely shocked. “614 viewers! That’s the most I’ve ever had.” Nick felt a strange surge of pride for his boy, mingled with an undercurrent of jealousy. Six hundred and fourteen people wanted to watch him suck Nick’s cock, wanted to see his pretty face covered in Nick’s come. Because he was good, he was so fucking good, and Nick would tell him just that as soon as the camera was off, as soon as Louis was just  _ his _ again.

“Better give them a show, yeah?” Nick groaned as Louis did just that. He took Nick back in his mouth and started bobbing up and down in the most perfect rhythm any man had ever experienced. Every so often he removed his hand and took Nick deep, and each and every time Nick wailed like the first time. 

Before long he could feel the tell tale pressure building in his stomach, indicating that he was close. A tingling started in his toes and his fingers, building in intensity as it moved up his legs and arms. Suddenly his whole body was shaking with anticipation, and he let out the three quick whines they had agreed on as a signal to let Louis know he was about to come. 

Louis pulled off, panting again, lips wet with his spit and Nick’s pre come, mouth wide open and eyes locked with Nick as his hand moved quickly over Nick’s cock. If Nick hadn’t already been flying over the edge, the sight of Louis like that would have pushed him over. As his orgasm hit he was able to take in the perfect sight of his come striping Louis’ face just once before his eyes were screwed shut and his head thrown back as he moaned, Louis’ name slipping out despite the no talking rule.

When Nick was able to look again Louis was staring at him, wide eyed and face covered in come. He almost looked innocent, so in awe of Nick and the gift Nick had just given him. The illusion of innocence was shattered as soon as Louis’ tongue flicked out, licking up any and all the come he could reach.

He turned back to the camera just as Nick thought he might have a heart attack at the sight of him, and grinned. 

“Thanks, boys. That’s all I have time for today. Which is really code for ‘I’m about to untie this beautiful man of mine and make him fuck me senseless.’ See you next time” And with that he leaned over and cut the feed.

As soon as Nick’s hands were untied he took Louis’ face in both hands, bringing him up to meet his lips. The kiss was dirty and uncoordinated, Louis still tasting of Nick, his face still covered in Nick’s come, but it was the best kiss Nick could ever imagine. The part of him that was scared shitless by this boy was silent, nothing running through his head but  _ mine _ and  _ more _ and  _ louis. _

“So good, you’re so good Louis, fuck. Thank you.” Nick pressed each word into Louis’ mouth with a kiss, feeling Louis melt against him with the praise.  

“All for you, babe.” Louis muttered back, before whispering the words Nick needed to hear the most. “I’m yours, even when they watch, I’m all yours.” 

Louis quickly ducked down to untie Nick’s feet before they fell onto the bed together, unable to take their hands off each other for a second. Nick gently cleaned Louis’ face with a baby wipe, before they settled into cuddles and soft kisses. He didn’t know how long they lay there, before he was aware of Louis’ hard cock pressing against him, and became aware of the fact that Louis hadn’t come yet. 

“Baby, want to make you come now, yeah?” He whispered, gratified when Louis squirmed against him seeking more friction. 

“Yeah.” Louis breathed a single word in response, eyes glassy and dark when he looked up at Nick. 

“On your knees.” Nick bit a mark into Louis’ collarbone before he let the younger man comply. 

Louis moved into the middle of the bed, displayed for Nick as he pushed his arse out, arching his back. His muscles moved under his tanned skin, aching for Nick’s touch. Nick left him there, teasing him like Louis had teased Nick earlier, as he slipped off the bed and rummaged in the box of sex toys Nick had seen on their first night together. It was a box they had been working their way through since, finding out what each other liked, loved, and disliked.

Tonight Nick wanted something he hadn’t used yet, and pushing aside a collection of dildos and handcuffs he found his prize. It was the hitachi wand that had been at the back of his mind for weeks now, and as he plugged it in and switched it on he heard Louis moan, clearly knowing what was coming next.

Nick set the speed low to start with, pressing it lightly against Louis’ hole, resting on his balls. Louis jerked, moaning as he tried valiantly to stay still.

“Been waiting for this one, baby. You know what’s gonna happen right? Gonna make you come from just this, not gonna touch your cock. Think you can do that?” Nick’s voice was low, arousal colouring it darkly. They had discussed this before, Nick had told Louis how much he wanted it and Louis had agreed quickly that he wanted it too. Now however he turned to look at Nick, frustration written loud across his face.

“Need you, Nick. Need more.” He whined, his voice breathy and broken. 

“I know, sweetheart.” Nick turned the vibrator up slightly, watching in awe as Louis valiantly tried to stay calm against the onslaught of sensations. His arms were shaking already as he tried to hold himself up, and the muscles in his back contorted as he moved. There was a thin sheen of sweat covering him, one Nick was powerless to stop himself leaning over and tasting. Louis tasted of salt and musk and that sweetness under it all that was just Louis’. It was heady and powerful and went straight to Nick’s cock, despite the fact he didn’t think he’d be able to come again. 

Another increase in power, the wand pressed hard against Louis’ hole, had him collapse into the bed, his arms giving out. His arse remained up, the visual far more erotic than Nick had expected. Little hiccupy moans emanated from him, broken and breathy as he tried to control himself, which just made Nick strive harder to make him fall apart.

Nick pushed the vibrations yet higher, listening as Louis’ moans became more frantic. Watching as his thighs started to shake, as his mouth fell open in a pretty ‘oh’ shape that Nick wanted to kiss till Louis’ lips were raw.

“More, Nick. Fuck me, please, please need your cock, need it.” Louis begged, his face scrunched up where he was pressed into the bed, mouth lazy and drawling around his words. 

“You can come like this Lou, know you can. Come on baby, come for me.” Nick turned the vibrations up to their highest setting as if to demonstrate his point, watching as Louis shuddered and wailed on the bed in front of him.

Louis fell apart in front of Nick’s eyes. The air filled with the sharp tang of his sweat, and his eyes fluttered closed, eyelashes smudges of black against his beautiful cheekbones. His broken cries filled the room, muscles shaking and collapsing in on themselves as he shuddered through his release. Come striped the bed and Louis’ chest, forced from him by the power of the vibrator. It was beautiful.

Louis collapsed as Nick discarded the now silent wand, gathering his boy in his arms and pressing kisses into his overheated skin.

“You’re so good, so perfect, the best, baby, the best.” Louis snuffled against him, quiet and pliant after his orgasm. They drifted to sleep, tangled in each other's arms.

 

\----

 

Nick was sat on the sofa a month later, mid afternoon, trying desperately to not nap after his early shift on the breakfast show. Pig and he had just returned from a walk, and Louis had plans to come over at some point. It was difficult to get Louis to make firm plans, he was ephemeral and hard to pin down. He just turned up when he was ready, but he always turned up.

The sound of a key in the door woke Nick. Hours must have gone by because the room was dark and Pig was snoring gently beside him, a small puddle of drool collecting on the leather of the sofa. Nick hadn’t actually given Louis a key, but Louis had taken the spare and had it copied one day, which was pretty much the same thing.

“Oi, old man? You asleep?” And not any more Nick wasn’t, but it would do him no good to say that to Louis. Instead he stretched and yawned and rubbed sleep from his eyes, wincing when Louis came into the room and switched on the big light.

“Hello, baby.” Louis deposited himself in Nick’s lap and nuzzled against his neck as he spoke, which went straight to Nick’s cock as always. He didn’t think he had ever had as much sex in his life as he did with Louis. “Got a surprise for you.” 

There was a grin evident in Louis’ voice. It was one that could speak of genuine happiness but was more likely to speak of mischief. 

“Mmm, what’s that then?” Nick pressed kisses into Louis’ neck, arms wrapped around the smaller man’s waist protectively. Louis still terrified Nick at times, but the part of him that wanted to run had grown fat and lazy in the past month, more of a couch potato than an olympic sprinter.

“Make me tea and I’ll show you.” Louis bit Nick’s collarbone, knowing Nick could never resist him as soon as Louis started being a minx. It was something he probably should never have let Louis know.

Ten minutes later they had tea and biscuits and were sat back on the sofa, ready for Louis’ big reveal. Nick had long since decided this was going to be mischief, and would probably end badly for Nick, but he sat patiently anyway, completely wrapped around Louis’ little finger.

“Got something for you.” Louis sing-songed, hands cupped protectively around his tea as he sipped delicately. Nick tried to work out what exactly Louis could have on him as a surprise for Nick. He didn’t seem to have anything in his pockets, and hadn’t stashed anything anywhere in the room as far as Nick knew.

Louis stood, placing his cup delicately on a coaster, as he did so. Louis moved like a pixie. He was all quick darting movements combined with an elegance that seemed incongruous to his personality. It was something that intrigued and entranced Nick still, almost two months into their relationship. He was a walking contradiction.

Louis’s hands teased the bottom of his t-shirt, hitching it up just an inch or so, showing off delicate strips of tanned skin that Nick knew so intimately and yet felt a strong desire to learn all over again. There was something else, a flash of something when he lifted slightly higher, before dropping down again. Nick wasn’t sure what it was, maybe his tired eyes were playing tricks on him.

“Do you wanna see? I got it today.” Louis looked so pleased with himself, hips swaying slightly as his tugging on his shirt became less controlled and more erratic. Nick’s eyes traced the lines of Louis’ body up to his face. He was flushed, eyes glassy and blown out. Whatever this was had Louis more turned on without being touched than Nick had seen him in a while.

“Please.” The word came out cracked, Nick’s arousal amped by Louis’ own.

Finally Louis pulled the shirt up and over his body, tossing it over his head before his arms came back down. And there, in the middle of his stomach, was his surprise.

A small curved silver bar pierced through Louis’ belly button, a blue jewel sparkling in the end that mirrored Louis’ eye colour. Nick was transfixed, couldn’t take his eyes off it. 

“Do you like it?” The confidence and mischief was gone, replaced with insecurity and unsureness. Louis almost whispered the question.

Nick swallowed heavily.

“I love it.” He finally managed to force out the words, even though his mouth and throat had gone suddenly dry at the sight in front of him. 

“Yeah?” Louis sounded so soft, and it did something to Nick’s insides that he would never admit out loud, least of all to Louis.

“Yeah.” Nick cleared his throat, trying to grapple some control of himself before he spoke again. 

“Come here.”

He quickly grabbed Louis’ hand, pulling him down onto the couch, legs straddling Nick’s own. The kiss was bruising, messy, too much teeth and too much tongue but it was perfect in the moment. 

“Such a tease aren’t you? You knew I’d love it. God, Louis.” Nick was cut off by the groan he couldn’t help but give when Louis bit down hard on his neck, sucking deeply. Nick was going to have to wear scarves for the next week but it was a fashion faux pas he could live with right now.

His hands pressed hard into the soft flesh above Louis’ hips, gripping him and holding him down, stopping his hips from grinding against Nick’s crotch. Nick’s self control was on a knife edge as it was, if Louis carried on like that he would be coming in his trousers like he was fourteen again.

Grabbing lube from where he had started stashing it in the side table since dating Louis, Nick chucked it and a condom onto the sofa beside them, raising an eyebrow at Louis as he did so. Louis’ grin was devilish in return, a quick grind of his hips while Nick’s hands were otherwise occupied punctuating his wants. 

Within minutes they were both naked, clothes tossed all over the living room. Nick’s chest and shoulders were covered with fresh bite marks and bruises, everywhere that Louis could reach being attacked. He was pretty sure his back was covered in scratch marks too. 

“Fuck me.” Louis panted hotly in his ear, before adding another mark right below it. That would be tricky to hide but Nick didn’t give a fuck.

Slicking up two fingers he pressed them between Louis’ legs, circling lightly before slipping one finger in all the way to his knuckles. The way Louis’ entire body arched back in Nick’s lap was beautiful, held up only by Nick’s hands on his hip and inside him. 

Before Louis could recover Nick slipped in a second finger, going straight for his prostate as he curled them deeply. The pretty tanned pixie sitting on his lap just collapsed, going boneless at the touch. He fell forward onto Nick, slumped against him as little moans and breaths puffed out against Nick’s skin. 

“Think you can ride me? Or should I flip you over and fuck you into the sofa?” Nick teased with his fingers as he spoke, watching Louis’ eyelashes flutter and his mouth form soundless words as he did so. Louis looked so lost in his pleasure, Nick’s heart clenched at the sight.

“Fuck me, please fuck me. Been half hard since the piercing place, since she slid the needle through. Said she’d do it on three but she pushed on one, my cock twitched so hard.” Louis moaned out the words like he couldn’t stop himself. 

Nick couldn’t help himself smiling fondly at the puddle of boy in his lap, even as he added a third finger and stretched him open. Louis’ skin glowed with his arousal, a sheen of sweat building as he finally started to fuck back on Nick’s hand, finding some reserve of energy within himself.

Their lips met again, kissing fiercely and openly as Louis gasped and begged into Nick’s mouth. Nick kept them connected as he flipped them, Louis falling heavily onto the sofa, caged under Nick’s taller broader body.

“Don’t worry baby, gonna fuck you so hard.” Nick didn’t even know himself if he was all talk. The piercing had him so excited he wasn’t sure this would last long, but he was going to fuck Louis with all he had, had to fuck Louis.

Slipping his fingers out and a condom on he was finally where he wanted to be, pushed against Louis’ hole, feeling it stretch lightly, ready to fuck him.

“Want me to fuck you, Lou?” He pressed forward just tiny bit, emphasising his words.

“Yes, please, fucking yes.” Louis almost screamed, frustration and need evident in his voice.

“How much?” Nick teased, pushing forward again before pulling back slightly.

“If you don’t fuck me now I’ll dump you, you shit.” Louis’ words were slurred with his arousal, but they made Nick grin all the same. He pushed in, finally giving Louis what he needed.

Louis was tight, hot, everything Nick had ever needed or would ever need. he wanted to stay like this forever, but Louis was crying out at him to move. At first he teased, slow and with little rhythm, not letting Louis get used to it, no consistency in his pace. But before long Nick’s own orgasm was starting to push at the edges of his awareness, a tingling in his muscles, a tightness in his stomach, and his pace became quicker, more determined.

“More Nick, fuck me harder.” Louis cried out the words, fingers curling into Nick’s hair where he pulled just a touch too tightly. Nick’s head was pulled down, mouths clashing again in what had clearly been Louis’ intent. The kiss was barely a kiss, more open mouths and hot breath as their bodies moved together. Nick’s hand was on Louis’ cock, working him with a rhythm that matched his thrusts.

Nick’s hips twisted, angling up to meet the spot that he hoped would make Louis fall apart. Three thrusts later Louis was coming,  a mess of a boy in his arms, muscles twitching and writhing as his orgasm wracked through him. Come covered both of their chests.

Nick chased his own orgasm as Louis clenched tightly around him, it didn’t take much, just a few thrusts later he was crying out Louis’ name like a prayer as his eyes screwed shut against the pleasure. He collapsed on top of Louis, unable to hold himself up anymore.

Louis winced as Nick pulled out, but smiled softly when they curled around each other and Nick pulled a blanket down from the back of the sofa.

Clean up could wait for later.

 

\---

 

Louis was sick. He was curled up on Nick’s sofa and had been for two days. And he was sick. Nick didn’t really know what to do, short of bring him lemsip with added honey and lots of tissues. He wasn’t very good at looking after people. Especially not ones he was dating and was scared of and who were only in his flat because they had been sick when they arrived and had got sicker and hadn’t left. Especially not ones who still scared him shitless.

Louis spent his days curled on the sofa, and his nights being a furnace in Nick’s bed. Apparently this was normal and Louis wasn’t going to die, but despite Louis’ assurances (and laughter) Nick still thought a doctor might be best. 

He had tried to take Louis to A&E at least three times, which caused a big row that was mostly Louis repeating that he just had flu, and Nick saying people died of flu. Nick hadn’t won. In fact Nick had lost spectacularly when Louis had called his mum who was a nurse and made Nick talk to her. Nick who was scared shitless and still thought running away might be a possible alternative to facing his fears, had to talk to Louis’ mum. She had been very nice, and Nick could tell she was trying not to laugh at him, but Nick had still had to talk to Louis’ mum. 

Pig was better at looking after Louis than Nick was. She curled up on his feet and kept watch, making sure Louis was ok at all times. 

It took three days for Louis to break and text Harry, begging him to take Nick out of the house and talk some sense into him apparently. Harry arrived looking like the smuggest bastard on earth, cooing over the fact Nick was trying to take care of his sick ‘boyfriend’. It was the first time they had used the word, and Nick saw the way Louis tensed out of the corner of his eye. He thought of Louis as his boy, but ‘boyfriend’ just fuelled the runner inside him like an isotonic drink.

They headed up to Hampstead Heath, wandering with Pig up around the ponds, stopping for twenty minutes while she swam and played in the dog pond. There was a collie and a pug there too, the collie trying to tempt the two smaller dogs into deep water, desperate to play, frustrated by the short legs of her new friends.

The sun was starting to set over the hill as they headed further up, towards Kenwood House and the woods that surrounded it. Conversation had been light, focused on Nick’s work, Harry’s songwriting, where Zayn was off on tour. Until Harry turned to Nick, camera in hand from taking a photo of the view across London.

“You really like him, don’t you?” 

 

___

  
  


Nick came home from work tired and stressed. It was a Friday and a long week of radio and taking care of Louis had drained him. Not to mention the meetings he had been in all afternoon about possible telly projects. All he wanted was a cup of tea and a cuddle with his dog.

That’s why seeing Louis in his kitchen trying to cook wasn’t exactly the sight he expected or wanted. With as much as Louis had become a fixture in his life, it had been nearly three months now, he was aware that Louis and cooking didn’t naturally go together. He hadn’t expected the utter destruction of his lovely kitchen, however. It was like a tasmanian devil had been let loose on his pots and pans.

Louis froze when he came in, before slowly turning to him with a sheepish look on his face. 

“Umm. I wanted to make you dinner? To say thank you? For looking after me? But I kind of burnt it? And I think you might need a new frying pan. And colander, yours is melted. Not sure how that happened really but. Sorry?”

Nick wasn’t angry. He wanted to laugh more than anything, but there was something to the set of Louis’ shoulders, slightly defiant but needy all at the same time. It was almost like Louis wanted to be punished.

“Bedroom. Now.”

Louis remained frozen for a second, eyes locked on Nick, before he bolted in the direction of Nick’s room. When Nick managed to catch him up Louis was on the bed, cross legged, naked save for his boxers. There was a small part of Nick that wished Louis was wearing something lacier, smaller, but the part of him that wanted to remain in control of this, was glad that his self control wasn’t being tested yet further.

“Do I need to punish you, Lou?” Nick tried to keep the tremor out of his voice. 

“Yeah. Yeah Nick. Please.” Louis’ eyes were glassy, mouth hanging open slightly, flush on his skin so pretty and warm. Nick wanted to wreck him, take him apart with his fingers so he could put him back together again. 

“Lie back, baby. Arms up for me, yeah?” Louis spread out like a cat, limbs stretched long and lean. His hips pushed down into the bed as his back arched, belly button still glinting with its adornment.

Nick grabbed two scarves from the box, tying them around Louis’ delicate wrists, securing him to the headboard. Standing back he surveyed his work, Louis writhing on the bed, testing the restraints, eyes wide, locked on Nick’s.

“Please Nick.” Louis struggled more, pulling against the scarves, whining now, as Nick trailed a single finger down the centre of his torso, stopping millimetres from the new piercing.

“Yeah, yeah ok.” Nick’s own clothes came off quickly, tossed into the corner of the room. He rummaged in the box again, coming up with a wartenberg wheel. They hadn’t used it yet, not together anyway, and so he held it out for Louis to see.

“This ok?” Louis nodded vigorously. “Safe word baby, colours yeah?” More nodding, Nick took a deep breath, preparing himself to be what Louis needed.

Nick grabbed hold of one of Louis’ feet, gently running the wheel over his sole. His leg jumped and kicked, little hiccupy laughs coming from him. It didn’t take long before they dissolved into full on giggles.

“Nick, you’re not meant to be tickling me.” His laughter was breathy and airy, stomach contracting with each wave, causing the piercing to glint again in the soft light.

“I know. You’re cute when you giggle though, innit?” Nick’s laughter joined Louis’, shaking through him even as he tried to control himself, damp it down, get back in the zone.

As he ran the the pins up Louis’ inner leg everything went quiet, Louis’ laughter and his own cut off abruptly. Louis’ eyes went dark, wanton, lust colouring his face. The muscles under where Nick was rolling the wheel clenched and popped, reacting to the new sensations.

He trailed the wheel lazily, teasing, hardly pressing down at all until Louis was panting and whining for more. A slight increase in pressure saw Louis gasp, his leg kicking out towards Nick as the pins got closer and closer to his cock. 

“Feel ok? Colour?” His hand kept on moving as he asked, pressing the wheel into the delicate skin at the top of Louis’ inner thigh.

“Green. Fucking forests and fields of green.” Louis whined. “Only used this on myself before, fuck it feels so good.” He babbled, lost in the sensations. His eyes had closed, face tipped back as he moaned with each increase in the pressure.

Little trails of red marked his skin, showing off where Nick had been, tracing his path over Louis’ skin. Marking Louis temporarily as Nick’s. Nick would be lying if he said the sight didn’t go straight to his cock.

When Nick finally reached Louis’ stomach the effect was beautiful. His abs clenched and rolled as the pins pushed into the skin, little breathy ‘ahs’ escaping his mouth as he tried to hold his body still within his restraints. 

Nick avoided going anywhere near his cock which rested against his hip, rock hard and drooling pre come. He knew that was what Louis desperately wanted but he wasn’t going to give it to him just yet. Instead he trailed the wheel up around Louis’ belly button, close but not touching his new addition, up over his ribs, drawing lazy circles around his hard nipples before he finally rolled the pins right over the left nipple.

“Fuck!” Louis bucked against his restraints, trying desperately to fold himself in two, or to get his hand to his cock, Nick wasn't sure which. 

That was Nick’s cue to toss the wheel off to one side and replace it with his mouth. He licked teasingly over the nipple, before sucking it into his mouth and biting gently. Louis collapsed back like his strings had been cut, whimpering at the change in sensation. 

Nick's mouth trailed down, tongue circling the piercing even though he knew he shouldn't. It was like a magnet, he couldn't resist. Louis arched into the touch, crying out loud shouts as Nick sucked and licked at the delicate flesh, rolling the bar on his tongue, tugging lightly with his teeth.

One hand snaked down to take hold of Louis’ cock, which still lay neglected and twitching against his hip. Nick wrapped his hand around it, gratified when Louis let out a broken wail, his hips bucking off the bed into the touch. 

“Be good.” Nick raised his head, so close to Louis’ mouth that he couldn’t resist a kiss, one that quickly turned messy and needy. 

Lazy long movements over Louis’ cock had the man gasping and begging for more, totally helpless and needy for Nick. Unfortunately for him Nick had other plans than just making him come, ones that involved him fucking Louis until he was a quivering mess begging for release.

Grabbing lube Nick slicked up two fingers and pressed them lightly against Louis’ hole, spreading the liquid around, teasing Louis, as he continued to lightly stroke his cock. 

“Ok, darling? Gonna fuck you, yeah?” The way Louis was bucking against Nick’s touch said everything about what he wanted, but Nick wanted, needed, to hear him say this was ok.

“Please. Green, emerald, mint, pistachio, fucking chartreuse, just fucking fuck me Nick! Please!” Nick grinned, pressing a single finger inside Louis.

 

\----

 

Three weeks after Louis’ flu found Nick and Louis at the farmers market at Hampstead Heath. It was a sunday, and according to Louis far too early to be up to buy bread and olives and cheese. Nick hadn’t been able to sleep, his pattern too messed up from his early mornings on the radio. After tossing and turning in bed with little chance of drifting off again, he had slipped out, made tea, and brought it back to placate his sleeping boyfriend. 

The word was less scary now, had been normalised since Harry’s cavalier use of it. It was Harry’s other words which haunted Nick as they climbed to the top of Parliament Hill. Words about Nick having feelings for Louis, about Nick being in love with Louis (Harry had sing-songed the words, Harry was a nuisance).

Nick wasn’t in love with Louis. He liked him a lot, obviously. He liked him more than he liked most people in fact, but that meant nothing really. The sex was amazing, obviously, better than Nick’s fantasies about DoncASSter_twink had ever allowed. They flipped naturally back and forth in terms of who was in control, or Louis allowed Nick to think they did anyway. Nick was under no illusions that Louis wasn’t always the one in control.

Nick had spent every day this week with Louis, had nursed him when he was sick, and basically shared a flat with him as Louis rarely went home these days. But he wasn’t in love with Louis. Being in love with someone meant wanting to spend your life with them, meant wanting to spend all your time with them, missing them when they weren’t around, feeling like home was wherever they were. Nick may have missed Louis to the point of distraction last week when Louis had popped to his mum’s for the weekend, and they may have spent every waking moment texting, but that meant nothing. Nick may have just accepted a wedding invite for a year’s time adding Louis as his plus one, and may have considered what it would be like to be their wedding, just for a second, but that was just the practicalities of an adult relationship.

Louis might have been the only person who had been able to calm Nick down on Monday when the latest listener figures came in and weren’t spectacular, may have been able to ground him with a touch and a soft word but... Fuck. Nick was in love with Louis. 

He was in sodding stupid love with Louis ‘Donny’ Tomlinson and it felt like someone had just punched him in the gut. 

“You ok, old man? Look a bit winded there.” And ok, Louis was still there, still climbing the bloody hill, still smirking at Nick with his stupid... face. And Nick still needed to get his internal monologue back in working order cause Louis’ stupid face was not nearly as descriptive as he could normally come up with. 

“Race you.” Louis was off running, as Nick just stood there, winded from his recent realisation of stupid sodding love. As he watched Louis sprint up the hill he realised he hadn’t wanted to run in weeks, hadn’t been scared of Louis in weeks, which was almost more scary than being scared in the first place. 

When Nick finally caught up and wrapped his arms around his boy it was perfect, sun setting over London, soft light hitting Louis’ cheekbones as they snuggled closer. That was until Louis started squirming and poking at Nick’s side before he finally escaped and ran down the hill cackling. Nick just sighed before finally setting off after Louis.

Later that night they lay together in bed, Nick unable to stop himself planting soft kisses all over Louis’ face. The love that he had become aware of earlier was now somehow a constant presence at the front of his mind, threatening to bubble over and spill out every time he opened his mouth. When they had made tea after their walk it had been ever present, poured into the bitter brew with the milk. When they had ordered pizza he had pressed it into every mouse click as he added toppings just the way Louis liked them. When he had popped open beers for them it had been in the deft flick of his wrist, in the way he tilted the bottle ‘just so’ so it didn’t spill down Louis’ wrist as it opened. It was in the way he tidied their shoes in the hall, in the way he hung Louis’ jeans up so they wouldn’t be a creased mess in the morning. 

How could you go from being utterly unaware of love to being consumed with it in seconds? To it being the only thing you could see or focus on? How could a kiss go from a tender show of affection for someone you cared about, to a brand trying to press every iota of love you felt into their skin?

“Turn over, baby” Nick’s voice was rough, torn apart by the hot surges of emotion that filled him to the brim. He couldn’t look at Louis. He would explode if he did. He’d let the words out and he wasn’t sure Louis was ready for them yet. Instead he would fuck Louis into the mattress, fuck the love in him out into Louis, rid himself of it, have release from it. It would work. It had to. People surely didn’t cope in the real world feeling like this every day. There had to be a release valve. Nick was certain fucking Louis was just what he needed.

He couldn’t resist kissing down Louis’ spine though, not when the boy was stretched out under him, back arched as he pillowed his head on his arms. Each bump got a kiss, slowly and reverently placed as he worked his way down. 

“Love your back.” He murmured into Louis’ skin. A very slight lessening of the pressure shocked Nick. The word ‘Love’ apparently enough to give him some sweet relief even out of context. It wasn’t enough though, Nick needed more, chasing the release like an addict.

He bit, marking and sucking as he moved over Louis’ body, murmuring as he went.

“Love your shoulder blades.”

“Love these dimples right here.”

“Love your thighs.”

“Love your calves.”

“Love your ankles.” 

“Love your arse.”

“Love your...” The last one was muffled as he buried his tongue in Louis’ hole, licking and sucking and biting like his life depended on it. It might actually be the only thing stopping Nick from falling apart. Nick didn’t want to be the one falling apart, he wanted that to be Louis, so he redoubled his efforts, gratified when he pulled whines and moans and broken hiccups from his boy.

A bottle of lube was chucked at Nick’s head, glancing off and hitting him on the shoulder. He looked up abruptly, just in time for Louis to aim a condom at his face. Louis was the least patient person ever at times, even if he did readily submit to hours of edging when he was in the right mood.

“Please? Fuck I need it so much Nick.” Louis panted, voice breathy and catching on his words. His face was wanton, flushed high on his cheeks, sweat dampening the edges of his hair, causing it to curl slightly in the soft light that filtered from the hall. 

“Yeah. Yeah ok. Gonna fuck you so good. Love fucking you, Lou.” That word again, that tiny modicum of release. 

One finger slipped inside Louis. He managed to be tight and hot and soft and pliant all at once. Nick slipped in and out, searching and probing for the point that would make Louis fall into thousands of shattered shards that only Nick knew how to put together again.

A second finger, curling and pressing and watching as Louis moaned and cried his name and thrashed on the bed.

“Love how responsive you are baby.” A slight easing, just the slightest touch.

“Ready for a third? Love stretching you.” Nick was barely aware he was doing it, using the word, letting just a tiny bit of pressure out of the churning cauldron of love and louis and love that was his insides. 

“Yeah, more. Fuck I love your fingers.” Nick was shocked into stillness at Louis’ words. If Nick saying love released the pressure just a tiny bit, Louis saying it was like Nick had suddenly expanded, like there was more room inside him for more love. The pressure subsided for a second before hot emotions rushed in to fill the void, leaving him more desperate than he had been before.

The third finger slipped in easily, Nick focusing on the mesmerising sight of Louis split open and wanting in front of him. He didn’t think he would ever get used to it. This beautiful perfect menace of a boy who he had admired and desired for so long was his, he was finally his.

“‘m ready.” Louis grunted the words where his face was pressed into a pillow. It was all Nick needed to pull out, fumble with a condom, and be pressed against Louis in record time. 

The first thrust was tight, hot flesh pressing up against Nick as he pushed all the way into Louis. The younger man let out a wail, which he tried to muffle by biting his arm.

“No, want to hear you, Lou.” Nick panted, bottomed out, squeezing his eyes shut and trying oh so hard to not come. “Love the noises you make.” This time the little bit of relief was like a mini orgasm, relieving the tension just enough for Nick to be able to move.

“Fuck, love your arse. Love fucking you, fucking love it Lou.” Each repetition helped him hold off further, pressing deep hard thrusts into the man below him. 

Nick bent over Louis, bodies pressed tight as he hammered relentlessly into Louis, savouring every whine and moan and cry that he elicited. He bit down on Louis’ neck, pleasure flooding through him as Louis jerked like he had been electrocuted. 

“Love marking you. Love everyone knowing you’re all mine.” That was what did it, that was what tipped Louis over the edge, his body rattling and shaking and jerking as he fell apart. Every part of him shattered, falling into a million billion glittering shards. Nick loved that he was the only one who could make Louis fall apart like that. Loved that he was the only one who could put him back together. Loved that every time he did Louis became a little more  _ his. _

Nick kept on fucking into Louis even as Louis collapsed below him, small breathy whines escaping from him as he turned and smiles beatifically at Nick. The look in Louis’ eyes was what tipped Nick over. It was a look he had seen every time he looked in the mirror today. Love and awe reflected back at him.

His orgasm shook through him, rocking him from the tips of his toes to his (frankly ridiculous according to Louis) quiff. Every muscle strained and clenched and flexed. Every nerve lit up like a christmas tree. Every drop of blood was replaced with molten gold.

Long moments passed, Nick still inside Louis, collapsed on top of him, before finally Nick was able to move. He padded to the bathroom, gently dampening a flannel before he returned to Louis, kneeling by the bed to clean his sleeping boy.

“I love you.” He breathed into the quiet night. And despite the fact Louis was asleep it was like all the pressure inside him was suddenly released, like a balloon being let go off to go spinning off around the room. Nick felt free, light, safe, as he wiped sweat and come from Louis.

Louis’s voice was muffled with sleep and tinged with amusement, so quiet that if Nick hadn’t been so hyper aware of him he might have missed it. As it were he was first clued into the fact Louis wasn’t asleep by a hand patting him in an almost patronising manner. His eyes darted to Louis, body frozen as one eye cracked open.

  
“There you go, knew you’d get there. Love you too. Now sleep.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks love, I am on tumblr [here](http://conscious--ramblings.tumblr.com/) so come say hi! I love talking to people about my fic. And comments and Kudos make me the happiest person.


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